Having FDR work so much for such little monetary return, I feel myself trying to "save" him financially. When he wants to visit, we want to do something special or if something comes up, it's hard for him to budget in any extra costs. When his research is stressful and the pressure is on, I feel that I am taking on that emotional load to support him. I have become his superhero sidekick to help him fight through this program. On top of it all, I am trying to find other work, planning a wedding and moving this month. What are my limits or boundaries? I have no clue. I would do anything for him. I need and want to be his Superwoman. But I do ask in return the same effort reflected in his studies and managing his budget in a practical fashion. I hope for some small slice of emotional availability for when I need some emotional comfort. I need to feel like I am still in a relationship, especially since we are long-distance. I know that when being involved with someone who is heavily involved in a graduate program, it's not easy to ask for anything that could distract or detract from their success. I am always conflicted with my feelings and afraid to share that burden. I guess I do relate to the average superhero. Nonetheless, I am thankful for him and any time that I get to spend with him. Next time I fly down for a visit is in two weeks. :-)
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