I am so refreshed and appreciative that there are other women out there that are willing to share their experiences as a partner of a MD, med student or even (most exciting) MD/PhD!
Since my journey started with FDR, I have been looking for support, advice, insight, etc. to help me prepare for what was happening and what was going to happen. I remember going to family orientation and just crying. The school staff were pretty frank about the 10-15 year marathon that was just starting. I felt like I had no control over my life, which is another reason why I decided to stay. FDR's parents were moving him in and were so happy and I was just crying. I felt angry because I felt alone yet selfish. My feelings are always conflicting since he has been on the MD/PhD road. But it has been so worth having our own time while not being a distraction for him. If anything, it has been a motivating factor for him to get through his research the best he could. Meanwhile, I have had time to process and accept what I wanted and what I had to sacrifice to get what I wanted. This experience has been so difficult, yet has solidified our commitment to each other.
I'm so glad I found an outlet. *Taking a sigh of relief*
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Long Distance Relationships in the Media
Today I was watching MTV's True Life "I'm in a long distance relationship." I found the episode dealing with stereotypical topics such as paranoia regarding cheating and trust. Obviously this is a common and reoccurring theme that all couples must deal with. However, long distance relationships are not for the sensitive or causal heart. They require a strong sense of self, strong moral fiber, and communication. The media seems to highlight the impending doom and rarely features how they could work. It's not because there's no drama, because there certainly are moments, but perhaps because it's not an ideal lifestyle. My personal advice, do not engage unless you are looking to become engaged one day.
The most ironic media portrayal has come from the movie "Going the Distance" (SPOILER ALERT). I thought it would be a fun movie that my fiancee and I could relate to and talk about. However, it made us depressed more than anything (such as guy drives girl to airport in silence) and then to end the story with guy living in Los Angeles and girl living in San Francisco, which is basically our situation that didn't provide us a happy ending. That was the depiction of a long distance relationship that spoke to me. As much as I hate it, it's true. Bravo, Drew Barrymore, you made me cry.
Any other long distance love stories out there?
The most ironic media portrayal has come from the movie "Going the Distance" (SPOILER ALERT). I thought it would be a fun movie that my fiancee and I could relate to and talk about. However, it made us depressed more than anything (such as guy drives girl to airport in silence) and then to end the story with guy living in Los Angeles and girl living in San Francisco, which is basically our situation that didn't provide us a happy ending. That was the depiction of a long distance relationship that spoke to me. As much as I hate it, it's true. Bravo, Drew Barrymore, you made me cry.
Any other long distance love stories out there?
How did I get here?
I decided to start a blog because I actually found wife of a md phd student's blog to be quite an inspiring concept for connecting and releasing cathartic energy surrounding the surrounding support of committing to a MD/PhD student. On top of it all, we have been living 450 miles apart for the last three years. For professional reasons, we decided this was the best option at the time. He was only suppose to be in a two year Master's program that evolved into a four year PhD and then a sweetened offer for a free dual program...to say the least, I am ready for us to live in the same county, city and home.
He has passed his comprehensive exams, received his white coat, and has eleven published pubs. I am so proud yet I am sad to see him be consumed by the beast of scientific research. It is so frustrating to hear the sabotage and injustice involved in research - so self serving for a public service industry. S tells me he feels like he has been sent to four years hard labor. It is terrible to hear your loved one feel that way about their work. We have lost count of how many all nighters there have been. His PI just verbally abuses everyone in the lab. But there is a light down the tunnel. Almost over.
We hold onto the future, which gets us through the daily grind. I am trying to find another job that is closer, but my own industry is in a state of chaos - hiring freezes, budget cuts, politics...whatever happens, we will be married in the fall of next year and I am moving in. :)
Though it sounds like a lot of complaining, I have really learned that nothing worth having rarely comes easy.
He has passed his comprehensive exams, received his white coat, and has eleven published pubs. I am so proud yet I am sad to see him be consumed by the beast of scientific research. It is so frustrating to hear the sabotage and injustice involved in research - so self serving for a public service industry. S tells me he feels like he has been sent to four years hard labor. It is terrible to hear your loved one feel that way about their work. We have lost count of how many all nighters there have been. His PI just verbally abuses everyone in the lab. But there is a light down the tunnel. Almost over.
We hold onto the future, which gets us through the daily grind. I am trying to find another job that is closer, but my own industry is in a state of chaos - hiring freezes, budget cuts, politics...whatever happens, we will be married in the fall of next year and I am moving in. :)
Though it sounds like a lot of complaining, I have really learned that nothing worth having rarely comes easy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)